~ How’s The
Webster wanted to give a person the impression that he remembered him,
but could not recall his name or where they had met before, he would
ask, “Well, how is the old complaint?” And nine times out of ten
this worked. The person would begin to unfold some grievance that he had
discussed with Mr. Webster on a former occasion, and thereby identify
—Wilbur E. Nelson
~ Back To
Rationing For Daughter
When she got
fed up about the frequent complaints of her 14-year-old daughter at the
dining table, Mrs. Fay Young decided to do something about it.
She went down
to the library for a check on what she as a girl had eaten during the
London blitz at the Second World War. Then she put daughter Janet on the
same diet—a week’s ration of 14 ounces of meat, 3 eggs, 3 lbs. of
potatoes, and 2 ounces of cheese. Sunday dinner was bread and butter and
a hard-boiled egg.
“It was a
good lesson,” Janet decided. “I ll never complain again.”
~ The Uglies
an United Press International write-up, the “uglies” picketed an
American Airlines ticket office in protest of alleged discrimination in
hiring when they advertise for good-looking people.
president of Uglies Unlimited, led 18 uglies from his organization
formed to fight biased social structures that discriminate against ugly
want to be accepted for who we are instead of what we look like,” said
McCoy. “We talked to employment agencies who say it is much easier to
place attractive persons. The problem is most flagrant in newspaper
advertising which say such things as “attractive receptionist” or
“pretty secretary needed.”“
McCoy said the
Fort Worth Uglies is the first group of its kind in the country. He has
started a campaign to spread its message across the nation. McCoy
estimates that up to 10% of the American public are widely considered to
however no standard definition of ugliness, according to lawyers. To
some people, irregular features, such as discolored skin or a large nose
qualify. Others consider such conditions as fatness and baldness
unattractive. And so the complaint goes on.
~ Going To
department store, a little old lady was startled when a band began to
play and a dignified executive pinned an orchid on her dress and handed
her a crisp hundred dollar bill. She was the store’s millionth
customer. Television cameras were focused on her and reporters began
one asked, “just what did you come here for today?”
hesitated for a minute, then answered, “I’m on my way to the
medical survey states that chronic complainers live longer than people
who are always sweet and serene. It claims that their cantankerous
spirit gives them a purpose for living. Each morning they get up with a
fresh challenge to see how many things they can find to grumble about,
and they derive great satisfaction from making others miserable.
whether those who complain actually do outlive those who don’t. Maybe
it just seems that way to everybody around them.
—Herbert Vander Lugt
forefathers did without sugar until the 13th century; without coal fires
until the 14th century; without battered bread until the 15th century;
without potatoes until the 16th century; without coffee, tea, and soup
until the 17th century; without pudding until the 18th century; without
eggs, matches, and electricity until the 19th century; without canned
goods until the 20th century. Now, what was it we were complaining
~ A Persian
Fable Of Three Animals
There is an
old Persian fable of a hen, a mouse, and a rabbit who lived together in
a little house. They were happy and contented because they shared all
the work. The rabbit cooked the meals. The chicken carried in the
firewood. The mouse brought the water from the nearby brook. Each did
his work faithfully and contentedly.
But one day
while the hen was going to the forest for wood a busybody crow asked her
what she was doing. When told, the crow complained that the hen was
doing the hardest part of the work and that the rabbit and mouse were
making an easy-mark of her. Try as she would, the thought kept rankling
in the hen’s mind, and when she returned home with her load of wood
and her still heavier load of discontent, she cackled: “I do the
hardest work ever. We ought to change our jobs.”
spreads, as you know, and immediately the rabbit and mouse also thought
they had been doing the hardest work. They agreed to change jobs: the
mouse would cook, the rabbit would gather the firewood, the hen would
bring the water.
As the rabbit
hopped into the woods, a big fox trailed him, caught him, and ate him.
The chicken put the pail into the creek, but the current pulled the pail
down under, and the chicken with it. The mouse wondered why they did not
come back, but not for long. While he was sitting on the edge of the big
pot of soup, he lost his balance and fell in. Through discontent all
three not only lost their happiness but their very lives.
• I complained because I had no shoes until I
met a man who had no feet.
• There’s no sense in advertising your
troubles—there’s no market for them.
• Whenever you are tempted to tell your troubles
to other people, remember that half your listeners aren’t interested,
and the rest are glad you’re finally getting what’s coming to you.
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